Shit you should care about… 21 Things I’ve Learnt in 21 Years.
Today is my 21st birthday. This means that you all have to stop calling me a “girl” and start calling me a “woman,” thanks. It also means my mum has to stop booking my doctor/dentist/hair appointments. And I guess it means that I legally have to start making all my own decisions.
Well decision number one has to be that you can disregard all of the above because I’m still just a “girl” who likes her mum to book her appointments for her.
I stand by my deep-rooted hypothesis that I am in-fact, far too short and far too silly to be an “adult,” but since I am, I am ordering you with my newfound adultness, to take heed of everything I’m about to say. Read it. Study it. Live it.
Here’s 21 things I’ve learnt in 21 years:
Life is like a dishwasher, you only get out what you put in. BUT, if you put in a little bit more mahi, i.e. rinsing the dishes, putting in the tablet and turning it on, then you’ll be getting a better outcome, i.e. you’ll get out clean dishes, rather than dirty ones (copyright Lucy Blakiston 2018)
You cannot mix gin and vodka on a night out without making some serious mistakes.
Don’t set your expectations too high – for anything. I went to college with expectations of High School Musical and came out with a reality of “The Kissing Booth,” (not that any kissing was involved, it’s just a really shit movie.)
Life is like a box of chocolates – and if you’re dairy free then that means life is hard. So yes, life is hard. But in saying that…
Treat yourself. Eat the whole damn box.
Talk to your friends! Talk about your woes! Don’t hold that shit in or you’ll turn into a mentos+coca cola situation and explode in to a disgusting mess all over whoever is around you not to mention that such an explosion is so much harder to clean up than if the coke had just slightly spilled over the top and you’ll probably just hate yourself even more than you already do but now you’re depressed and covered in coke whi-
Don’t forget to breathe. You see what just happened above? I forgot to breathe, and it got very uncomfortable. For everyone involved. So, just, breathe.
No matter how many times you try you are never going to be able to parallel park. And that is a fact.
Instead of having a lot of boyfriends have a lot of boy friends. This one is easy for me to say because I’m the ultimate friendzoner/friendzonee, but having dude friends is truly great (even if they say that they’re going to pick you up from the airport after you’ve spent a month in South East Asia, but they decide the night you leave Indonesia to go fishing instead. It’s fine I’m totally over it.) Boys are cool though.
But in saying that, girls are cooler. Find yourself a girl gang and appreciate the shit out of them. Get matching tattoo’s, or don’t – but let them know you love them (and my girl gang are the ULTIMATE hype-girls, so I know they’re reading this… I love you guys.)
Don’t let yourself be pushed around by the senior management team at your high-school – especially when they preach that you must be a mana wahine (strong woman) at all times, but simultaneously try their hardest to make you feel like a weak little girl. Don’t let yourself be pushed around by ANYONE, for that matter.
If you think you’re ready to start drinking coffee, start with a cappuccino. All of the caffeine, less of the yuck.
Don’t be a people pleaser. Be someone people want to please.
Crashing the car of the people you nanny for is just character building (even if it is an Audi that is worth more than your life.) Actually, you should treat every mishap/faux pas/stupid mistake in your life as character building. You’ll forgive yourself easier.
Your brothers might just end up being your best mates (even if they refuse to believe it.) They might also ruin your life at your 21st with all the weird and embarrassing footage that they’ve collected of you over the years (Nick, Jimmy, Ben…. Have mercy on me.)
Your parents aren’t some type of god-like creatures who never make mistakes -they’re human too. And sometimes they need a bit of parenting themselves.
Hold yourself accountable… This goes for everything! If you say you’re going to do something, do it.
Or don’t hold yourself accountable. If you feel shit, let yourself feel it without guilt – and then get the hell over it.
Be nostalgic. Make those playlists that remind you of wagging school and driving around in your Nissan Sentra with your best friend. Fall apart to them. Dance to them. Don’t let yourself be too proud to reminisce.
Rate yourself. But don’t be up yourself. But if you can’t find a way to be one without the other, just be both. Don’t skimp on the effort when it comes to making sure you are the best person in your life – coz at the end of the day you’re stuck with you.
Just because I’ve learnt all of these things, doesn’t mean I’ve learnt FROM them. You can find me mixing gin and vodka on a night out, attempting (and failing) to parallel park, and eating that whole box of chocolates. Oh well maybe next year I’ll add rule 22 – nobody’s perfect.
And with that, I’m going to sign off and see in the newest year of my life by doing something utterly responsible and adult-like: 21 shots. Thank-you to everyone that makes up this crazy beautiful life of mine, and for all your birthday wishes – I know that being my friend can be taxing.
And to you, newly 21-year-old Luce, all I can say is PLEASE stop using boujee un-ironically.