MY ABORTION

MY ABORTION

I was young, and dumb and I loved sex.

And I was 17 when I had an abortion. 


It happened when I was in my last year of high school, with a craving to travel and experience life. I didn’t have a job, and like any other teenager I spent the $20 note I scored off my parents for “the movies,” on a 6 pack of vodka cruisers for whatever party was on that weekend.

Me and my boyfriend - who was also young, and dumb and loved sex - remembered to use condoms as often as possible, but he could barely remember to finish his homework, so sometimes we would have to resort to the “pull out method.”

Our vodka infused brains led us to make this immature decision at times, which was all fun and games until we found out that game was Russian Roulette. 

And we shot ourselves in the foot. 

I got pregnant. 


A cluster of cells were forming inside my body and I didn’t want them there.

I was scared and I was confused - but from the moment I found out, I knew what I wanted. 

I was going to have an abortion.

As soon as I realized I was pregnant and wanted to terminate the pregnancy, Family Planning helped me. I wasn’t ready and I knew it wasn’t right for my life. 

They believed me, they supported my decision and they helped me through each step.

I was told I had to have two certified consultants give me consent for the procedure to actually take place. In New Zealand, abortions are ONLY legal if or when “the pregnant woman faces a danger to her life, physical or mental health, or if there is a risk of the fetus being handicapped in the event of the continuation of her pregnancy.”

I wasn’t in any physical danger and neither was the fetus, but I didn’t want to be pregnant and I didn’t want to become a mother yet. And because of this, my entire wellbeing was in danger. 

So I had to go and talk to these two consultants, and in a way, convince them that this wasn’t the right time for me to become a mother (while they were trying to convince me to reconsider. )

Within a month I was ditching school and being transported to the hospital by my amazing friends, to have the simple procedure, and escape the nightmare that I’d gotten myself into.

This is something that I am grateful for every day. 

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No woman WANTS an abortion. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t a simple choice. And it isn’t something women volunteer to do. 

Like many other young women who fall pregnant, it was not possible to raise a child on an income I didn’t have. It was not possible to endure 9 months of pain and suffering to just have the baby be placed into the endless abyss that is the foster/adoption system, and hope they don’t suffer for life.

The choice I made when I was 17 years old didn’t ruin me. It allowed me to grow, and experience life how I needed to - to get the experience I need to one day raise a child who can have a happy and healthy life. 

I do not regret the choice I made. Because I made it. 

I am not proud of this, and I never claimed to be. But this was something that I had the privilege of DECIDING to do myself. 

And nobody else should EVER get to make that choice for ANY woman on this earth.


I was young, and dumb and I loved sex.

And I was 17 when I had an abortion. 

Anonymous xx

Banner Image via @viceland